So, my 17 year old niece reveals to me that for the past few years, her father (my sister's husband) has been physically and verbally abusive to her.
Enough so that it finally came to a breaking point, and she reported it to the police. She told me that she had wished she had told me sooner, but she was trying to wait til she was 18 so that she could leave.
I knew that she and her parents had been locking horns for the past couple of years, but I chalked it up to teen puberty and general growing pains. But on their last, most recent visit, I could tell that something was really eating at her.
Apparently, what set off this latest incident was that he discovered that she had been seeing/involved with a non-Witness boy about her age, and got so violent with her that it left marks.
Ironically, she went and got help from her boyfriend's father, a paramedic, who documented the injuries and encouraged her to report it.
So, yeah, he spent a night in jail.
She is now staying at the parents of her boyfriend, while still trying to have some aspects of her old life (work, school, etc.).
Now, here is the saddening thing.
With all this going on, my sister, who I communicate with daily, has not said "boo" about any of this going on. They cancelled their family vacation "and were just going to have a staycation to save money" (because I am sure that they had to pay some bail). But, when I ask questions like, "How are the kids?", and "Are they ready for school?", nothing is mentioned at all about this.
Meanwhile, I find out from my niece that word has gotten back to her that her parents have put forward the tale that "she put the marks on herself" and that "she ran away so that she could live with her boyfriend."
I have pointedly asked my niece about details, where she was comfortable to talk about them. She is not making this up.
She has been interviewed by the police, by case workers, by Human Services, and they aren't doubting her either.
I am so disappointed in my sister participating in this lie and slander against her own daughter. I didn't think she had it in her, especially since she had gone through similar with her first husband 30 years ago.
My niece was worried that, in the court appearance, her dad would be believed over her testimony. I basically said that a courtroom is not the same as meeting with the elders at the Kingdom Hall, and that with the evidence and interviews with various professionals against him, he is going to have to do a lot more than just present himself as a nice guy in court. I am sure that the court has seen similar masquerades before.
I am treading the very thin line of giving her moral and emotional support, while not overtly making comments about her religion, or remarks against her parents. I don't want to be seen as the guy who "turned her away". I don't want to be seen as someone interfering with her parents (but believe me, there are SO many things I want to say about this goofy, dangerous religion, it's been hard!)
Right now, though, she is safe, and experiencing a JW parent's worst nightmare: She is in a different environment where she is safe, encouraged, and not constantly yelled at and condemned. The family appears to be very nice, somewhat well-off. The dad, in addition to being a paramedic, is also a Youth minister (which means much more training than an Elder ever gets). She has already stated that she doesn't feel safe going back home, and I don't blame her.
I have told her that she is welcome at our house with me and my wife.
On the positive side, she actually got to go on a date with her boyfriend, who was old fashioned enough to take her to dinner, skating, and bought her chocolates and roses. So, he sounds like he has some quality.
Anyway, been a long time since I was on this board, and needed to unload.